Wonder-ful

Remember when, as teenagers, we vowed that we would NEVER be like our parents? If you're anything like me, the older you get, the more you realize that the apple rarely falls too far from the tree.  Our parents leave an indelible mark and our behaviors often begin to echo theirs.

Of course, as an adult, I appreciate many of the gifts my parents have bequeathed to me --- my dad's writing ability and intensity, my mother's loony sense of humor and deep love of family. But the recognition and appreciation of these gifts came slowly. 

I had to chuckle when I realized, several years ago, that I had adopted one of my mother's favorite pastimes, birdwatching. During my (much) younger days, I used to inwardly roll my eyes when my mother would point out various birds at her feeders --- nuthatches, downy woodpeckers, tufted titmice.  Birds??!!!??  Who had time to watch birds?  And who wanted to?  How boring!  But now I love to watch the variety of small birds swoop down to the feeder, and I delight in the few months each year when the American goldfinches and the hummingbirds take up residence.

What changed?  For me, I think it was a gradual understanding of the interconnectedness of all life, the fact that we are not separate from each other after all.  As I aged, my focus expanded, and I began to appreciate all the natural wonders around me, and to feel profound gratitude for the miracle of all life.  Every living thing has an important part to play in this organism we call the Universe; it's pretty magical, and oh so beautiful, when you think about it. 

I'm not sure if my mother considered all this when she happily announced a particular bird's arrival.  But I'm pretty sure that the joy she expressed could have been translated as, "Isn't the world just AMAZING, Christine?"  Yes, it is, Mommy.  Yes, it is.

Blessings of Friendship

Friendship.  That word evokes many emotions and memories, from childhood friendships that were open and easy, to teenage friendships that were fraught with drama, to adult friendships that seemed more like acquaintances in their shallowness.  Looking back, I can see that this progression was normal, but definitely not satisfying.  In my twenties and thirties, despite having a wonderful family, I mourned the lack of a female confidante, someone who would accept me totally and with whom I could share my silliness and innermost thoughts with ease.

My prayers were answered when my family and I moved to Columbia in 1989 and became members of a local congregation.  My husband and I discovered several couples there with whom we connected, and we began socializing regularly with them.  Crazy parties, potlucks, and shared vacations ensued, and to my surprise, the close friendships that I had so yearned for became reality.  We women would walk around the lake, talking about our husbands and children, laughing and crying, commiserating and celebrating with each other.  When, as a result of work and other commitments, we found that we were not seeing each other as regularly, we instituted a weekly tea, which continues to this day.  The more time we spent together, the closer we became. For more than 20 years, we have maintained our friendship, celebrating the marriages of our children and the births of grandchildren.  We have  supported each other through the loss of parents and the sudden deaths of close friends.  We have woven our lives together with durable thread.

The close friendships I have with these wonderful, unique women have sustained me, encouraged me, and freed me. Thank you, dear friends, for enriching my life in so many ways.

Welcome!

Welcome to A Whole Heart Life, musings on what a fulfilling life looks like to me.  For the most part, this blog will focus on family, friends, life purpose, food and travel.  But at times, you may find me expressing my thoughts on art, music, spirituality and culture, as well.

Like many people, I lived much of my life on automatic pilot.  I was driven by my unconscious thoughts and negative voices that told me that much of what happened to me was my fault, that I was never good enough, and that I had much to fear.  I tried to do everything right, and to the world at large, I'm sure it appeared that I had a perfect life.  And, for the most part, I did. I had a good marriage, two children whose shenanigans were minor, and a lovely home.  But still, unhappiness dogged me. 

Why? For many years, an answer eluded me. But over time, I discovered what I needed to embrace and what I needed to let go of, in order to live a whole heart life, one that fills me with joy and peace on a regular basis.  I needed a new perspective, and I was able to develop one through  relationships, calculated risk taking, classroom learning, and meditative practices.  Essentially, I knew the kind of life I wanted, and was fortunate enough to find guides for the journey.

So this will be a blog about happiness --- stories of joyful events, everyday miracles, and all the little things that make life worthwhile.  I invite you to join me on the adventure.